I need to get this huge elephant out of the room, or more specifically out of my blog. It’s so big and heavy that it’s blocking my creative flow. A blog is much like reality TV. You have to be real or pretty soon you really won’t be here at all.
Definition: an English metaphorical idiom for an obvious truth that is either being ignored or going unaddressed.
T.H. and I aren’t living together right now. There …. I said it. When he started the 5000 sq. ft. Red-Neck Renovation I moved to the neighboring ranch’s little guest cabin. I fixed it up really cute for our “long winter’s nap”. I’ve been here 4 months. T.H. spent 3 nights here and I haven’t seen him since. I guess the cabin just wasn’t big enough for both of us.
He moved down to our hunting lodge in the little town where we get our mail. For me it would be the equivalent of living in a middle-aged frat house complete with pool table and beer on tap and lots of “rowdy friends comin’ over tonight”. It is there that he remains, fueling his resentment by giving me the silent treatment.
Whew! I feel better already now that I got that out.
What’s the rub? You ask. Apparently it’s top secret classified information. Remember ….. he’s not talking. I can only guess. I guess it most likely is about the McMansion he’s building. At my age and stage of life I wanted to downsize, reduce overhead and be free of “stuff”. He wanted to super-size his life, increase overhead and get more stuff. T.H. is building “his” dream house on “his” ranch (prenup) with “his” super-sized mortgage. It’s not my dream. I just couldn’t go there with him. (emotionally, spiritually, physically and especially financially)
Silent scorn is the only tool that T.H. has in his toolbox for dealing with conflict. We’ve spent a good half of our marriage in that mode. The upside for me is that when he’s not speaking to me, that gives me a lot more time to pursue my passions. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.
A neighbor asked a friend of mine. …. “What are they building up there? A duplex? ”
Now that’s funny.
Love, Cowgirl Red aka Terah
My little cabin on the hill. No room for elephants.
P.S. It’s good for me to take a stand that’s good for me. And it’s good to talk about the elephant in the room. It’s real. And being real is good for me, too.