While taking my spiritual fast for two weeks in December I had a lot of time to think. A lot of time to think about turning 60 this year. I think about it all the time. Not in a morbid way. In a way like this….
“Wow. I’m turning 60. I can’t believe it. I never thought I would live this long and feel this good. I remember 40. 60 feels the same as 40. 50 was a bummer. Forget 50. But 60, it feels good. Weird.”
As the new year rang in I did not make the obligatory list of New Years Resolutions or my usual “New Age” list of “New Years Intentions and Affirmations.” You know ….. do more yoga, eat better, exercise more, be nicer to people…… “OMMMMMMmmmmm.”
The things that occupy my mind these days are the things that I want to quit doing. Time left on the planet is so very precious. Space in my head is in short supply too. My brain is full. So full that things tend to randomly fall out. Scarcity of time and space are the on my mind as I approach 60. “Time” as a precious commodity is running out. That is a fact. And “Space” in my brain is prime real estate. I believe that these “things” that I will quit doing will allow more time for glorious life and more space in my brain for the good stuff to reside.
My list is the opposite of a “Bucket List”.
A “F#@% it List”.
Be patient with me, it’s evolving. This is a rough draft. It’s a little raw, a little funny, a little serious. But it is real. On my mind everyday. Please don’t be offended. None of us have time or space for that anymore.
Cowgirl-Red’s List of 60 things I’m not doing anymore, never going to do again and not going to start doing or even consider doing.
- Listen to anyone’s BS drama and misery that they have manufactured for themselves.
- Pretend that I’m interested in someone’s health problems when I just met you.
- Go to the gym.
- Go on a retreat.
- Go grey.
- Go without a regular mani-pedi.
- Pretend I’m a conservative just to get along in Kansas. I’m a liberal. Bet you didn’t know.
- Be afraid of anything.
- Tell people my story when they haven’t asked.
- Force small talk.
- Fill in the gaps of conversation.
- Mindlessly ask people “How are you?” It almost never ends well.
- Be offended by anyone or anything. It’s not personal.
- Play small so other people can look big.
- Camp out on social media.
- Claim “virtual friends” as real friends.
- Take anymore expensive continuing education for my CPA license
- Be silent in the face of sexism or misogynistic comments made in my presence. Silence is acceptance.
- Be silent in the face of homophobic or racist comments made in my presence.
- Be silent in the face of red-neck ignorance.
- Kill time on Facebook.
- Listen to people my age complain about their lives.
- Expect any other human to meet my spiritual or emotional needs
- Participate in anyone’s drama being played out in person.
- Explain why I’ve bailed on your drama.
- Offer an explanation for anything.
- Dress my age.
- Act my age.
- Pretend I’m interested in people’s kids or grandkids or dogs when I’ve never met them, hardly know them and have no context with which to discuss them
- Be polite to people who smoke cigarettes in front of me.
- Feel guilty about not keeping in better contact with friends or relatives. The mail and phone lines run both directions.
- Say yes when I mean no.
- Say yes when it’s less than 100% Yes.
- Say yes to anything that involves more than an hour of my time commitment without thinking about it for the exact amount of time needed to complete the task.
- Commit to any event that is more than two weeks away.
- Join a club.
- Ask for the senior discount.
- Be in charge of any event that requires planning with a committee.
- Be on a committee.
- Go to a “meeting”.
- Cook a turkey.
- Prepare a meal for more than 4 people. If it’s 5 or more, it better be take-out pot luck or make yourself at home.
- Pretend that I ever intend to give up coffee.
- Answer personal questions from people who are not personal friends.
- Look at myself naked in a full length mirror with anything brighter than a 40 watt bulb or a candle.
- Let anyone else weigh me and write it down or say it out loud.
- Change my diet. Keep a food and exercise log.
- Go camping, sleep outside or sleep anywhere without plumbing.
- Raise my hand to volunteer for anything.
- Respond to the phrase “hurry up!”
- Help people look for their own stuff that they have misplaced before they have looked themselves.
- Read a novel written by a man in a woman’s voice.
- Handle anyone’s ill-mannered horse or dog or child.
- Stay up past midnight.
- Complain about my aches and pains.
- Get any more mammograms.
- Be treated dismissively by a mechanic, plumber, electrician, because of my age or gender.
- Miss an opportunity to give someone a compliment or encouragement with the spoken or written word. I have time for that.
- Miss an opportunity to be-friend any younger woman. I have time for that.
- Miss an opportunity to tell my friends and family that I love them. I have time for that.
Love, Cowgirl-Red aka Terah
P.S. Each one of these 60 things could be a blog post of their own. They need more elaboration.
Like # 12. It’s not that I don’t care “how you are?” It’s just …… do I really need to know about your IBS? That takes up my time and now I have this mental image in my head taking up space. So I say NO…. just no. That also goes along with #2. I can’t pack that stuff around with me anymore.
#55. We all have aches and pains. It’s boring. The less I think and talk about it, the less I hurt.
#59. I want to spend more time with young women as a friend and mentor. An elder. Someone who can remind them how special they are. Someone who can lift them up when they are down on themselves. Help them realize their value. That’s all. That’s what I have time and space for at 60.