Yesterday I performed the dreaded task of re-applying for health insurance for 2017. I was notified by Blue Cross Blue Shield and HealthCare.gov that they were not offering my plan for 2017 and I needed to update my application and choose a new plan.  I received that notice in September.  The deadline is tomorrow.  Do the math.  I have known for 3 months that I needed to get new insurance and I waited until the second to last-minute….. WHY?   Why do I procrastinate something as important as health insurance?

Well, I’ll tell you why. Solely based on my own opinion of myself,  it’s FEAR.   Plain and simple.

I think of myself as being fearless and accountable.  After all, I am a trained accountant.  A professional. Yet, I put this off until it was almost too late.  I simply bought into the fear of what was plastered all over the media during the election.  In September the media (that includes social media) started this campaign to show how horrible the Affordable Care Act is. That everyone’s premiums were doubling and tripling. That benefits were being cut. And on and on and on and on. It was a disaster.

I believed it without fact checking anything for myself.  I didn’t want to deal with it. So I put it away. Until yesterday. But it really wasn’t put “away” away.  It was in my subconscious.  I fretted and worried about it. I also fretted and worried about the new administration shit-canning the whole thing. Then what would I do? By the end of my fret sometimes I would lose everything.  WHOA!  Say what?  Over not filling out a simple online form in a timely manner?  Really?

Really.

I think everyone is familiar with the anacronym for FEAR.  False Evidence Appearing Real. And that procrastination is just one if fears many masks.  So here is how this episode resolved itself…..

I sat down at my desk and computer yesterday. I had allotted a whole day to figure this out.  I logged onto HealthCare.gov .  I filled out the update. They presented me with 8 comparable plans for almost the same premium.  I chose one. I paid the first month’s premium.  Episode over.  30 minutes.   Yes, 30 minutes.

Talk about “False Evidence Appearing Real”. I thought I wouldn’t be able to afford it. I thought it would be so complex that I wouldn’t figure it out in the 48 hours I had left. I thought there would be an online message saying “Don’t bother. The party’s over.”  I can’t believe I did this to myself.  I’m not beating myself up. I’m just saying that all that fretting wasn’t worth it. “Fret” is such a great word. That’s exactly how I feel when I needlessly worry over stupid shit. Fret: corrode, fray, rub, chafe, agitate, wear, vex.  I gave myself diaper rash on the inside.

Sometimes I give away my power to the things that I fear without realizing it.

Awareness is key. It’s always the first step. It gives me hope that I can change a habit that is not serving me.

Knowledge is power. Now I have my power …… back.

I want to set an intention to not worry that the “shitbirds”  coming to power will can the ACA. There are only 27 million of us using it. If that happens we can deal with it together. We can probably figure out something.

Next project…… my bank statement. Yikes.

 

Are you procrastinating something important?  Do you need some support and encouragement? Leave me a comment. Let’s all support each other to be our best fearless, powerful selves!!!

 

Love,  Terah   aka Cowgirl-Red

 

P.S. Afterthought.  Fear can serve me, but not as a constant companion. It needs to serve me in a circumstantial way for short periods of time. Like around snakes and bears and mad momma cows.  Stuff like that.

 

 

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Comments

  1. Yes, I proccrastinate on making all appointments…doctors, dentist, eye doctor. I hate doing the phone tag game with companies or government workers.

    I am glad you let the skunk go! 🙂 🙂

    • Janie DaVault says:

      I thought I did this because of my age (72 almost). But I think mine is more a mind set.. hey if I’m not in the mood today.. there’s always tomorrow!! I go through lots of scenarios.you do but am learning that very often the worst never happens!! I am learning more and more to trust in the Lord! He lives widows.. says so in the Bible and He has helped me so very much.. don’t think He will quit now!!
      Not sure how I would react to the skunk.. hate animal abuse but have felt with dogs and skunks so many times.. might have to flip a coin on that. Better yet staying out of boonies while alone! Lol!

  2. Ginger Goering says:

    Gotcha Terah! But bank statements… you’re a whiz.. perhaps you’d like me to help!!!!!?

    • Of course Ginger. You are a trained counselor. Haha You can counsel me to get over my dumb fears and be more productive. Like a grown up. xoxox Terah

  3. So True! I find that when I confront my fears….I am stronger for it and feel more empowered! And yes…healthcare.gov is not as bad as everyone has made us out to think it is….the website is pretty easy.

    • Yes. Thank you, Lynn. It was pretty easy. They did a great job at that. Plus the help if you need it. Have a great day!!

  4. Dave Gagon says:

    Hi Terah, I love the “shitbirds coming into power” statement. I think we are all a little fearful of that.
    I have enjoyed reading your blogs and I’m happy to hear that you are doing well. Happy to hear that you still have a horse.

    • Hi Dave. I’m so happy that you remember me!! I hope you are well. Yes I still have horses. Are you still in Vernal? I have memories of many happy times there. Thanks for commenting. Thanks for being part of the conversation. Shitbirds… They are.

      xoxo Terah

  5. I love this! It’s really about wrapping up that lost energy that fear creates…when we leave the situation to hide.
    I’ve been dealing with all my money stuff, too.
    It feels like a great time to wrap up the last 9 years of sh*t and create all fresh starting Jan. I’m on hold to talk to the ACA because the website is struggling today.
    I’ve NEVER had health insurance, and so thankful I asked my Ex about it and he said the deadline was today! Crazy cool.
    love you girl! Herd those money cats!!

    • Thank you my dear Auretha. Health insurance is good. They really did make it affordable if your income is low. Let me know if I can help you with the process. You are amazing. I’m so happy we are journeying together now. xoxoxo T

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